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Category: Lifestyle

The Value of a Positive Attitude

Posted on by M Miller

The Experience

     This weekend my family and I went out to a restaurant to spend some quality time together. It was a spur of the moment decision. Something we wound not normally do at that specific time of day because it was a very busy time for families dining. We decided to go with it anyway. After waiting quite a while to be seated, we then had to wait quite a while for the waiter to come to our table to take our order.  I couldn’t help but feel that maybe this was not quite a good decision to come to this restaurant.  The waiting was a bit much.

  When the waitress finally came to our table, she greeted us in the most friendly way and apologized for the wait due to the restaurant being busy.  The rest of the dining experience was still quite slow but the food and the particular waitress made all the difference.  Before leaving the restaurant, I had to let the waitress know that her kindness was very much appreciated.

Reflecting on the Experience

     On the way home, I was talking to my husband about our restaurant experience.  Usually when the restaurants are crowded and the waiters are busy, the energy and attitude is passed on to the customers.  We would then feel rushed and underserved and the whole dining experience would not be a good one, even if the food was good.  The negative energy from the environment would spoil the overall experience.

     Many times we carry our attitude with us and it can and will affect the outcome of whatever we are trying to do.  In the example I used above about the restaurant, this one worker was able to keep her energy positive in spite of the extremely busy work environment she was in. She did not let that affect her work attitude or performance and in the end she was generously tipped (lol) and represented the company in a very positive way. This showed that being positive has many advantages. It was a win-win.

The Advantages of a Positive Attitude

      The personal advantage of a positive attitude is that by being able to control your attitude when things around you may not be the best, you are able to maintain control over yourself rather than the situation controlling you.  That is amazing and not very easy to do!

     Professionally if you work with someone who has a positive attitude, it is easier to go the extra mile and lend that support because their very energy is the fuel that pushes their staff to aim higher to do their best.

     The opposite is also true, if you are around a very negative attitude, whether it be a company or direct report, that negative energy will stifle your creativity and your ability to want to do or be your best. Eventually you will soon find yourself looking for the exit door.

A Positive Attitude in Business

     For those of us who are Entrepreneurs, we must focus on the positive.  It is what will continue to allow us to thrive and grow.  We can not afford to be negative because our brand depends on it.  Everything we see becomes a useful example.  Even a family outing to a restaurant becomes an example that can be applied to your business.  

     This week as you go about your daily activities, I challenge you to look at your attitude in the situations you encounter.  Ask yourself if it is in need of adjusting, am I being positive or am I giving off a very negative vibe.  If the answer is not a good one, don’t be hard on yourself. Just look for ways you can adjust your attitude no matter how slight, it can and will make a difference not just to you but to those around you. So until next time my readers continue to ……Live your dreams out loud 

Are You Managing Your Time

Posted on by M Miller

     Every now and then it is a good idea to do a time check, to see how well you are managing your time or is your time managing you (lol).  In the past few months we have set personal goals and business goals. As we roll out our plans, the need to manage our time becomes very important.

Why Time management is Important

     Time management is important because it keeps us on top of our game.  When you are at your best you function better and you are more productive.  We all know those people who wait until the last minute to do everything.  It is almost hit or miss that they get things done and if it is done it is not their best work

     Whether you are trying to meet your personal goals or manage your business the need to manage your time is priceless.  There are some useful tools that I have that help me and that is trying to stay organized.  This can be done by using planners or to do lists. These tools are useful use to assist in planning out your daily and weekly activities. 

     It is also a good idea to make balance a way of life.  This basically means do not overschedule your activities.  Saying no can and is a good thing when it comes to keeping balance in your schedule.  When you lose control of your time, you have failed to effectively manage your time.

     I would also like to add that for those of us that are parents this is especially important. When you are signing up your children for activities remember that practice and or games are then added to your schedule.  See if you are able to share some tasks or in some cases delegate certain tasks where and when you can.

Self Care

     Although some would disagree, I believe that making sure you have time for self care is very important and that needs to be part of your time management schedule.  If you can not think of the last time that you scheduled something for just yourself that was just about you, then you are not managing your time properly.  (ouch)

Redeeming the Time

     While we can not make up for lost time because once it is gone it is gone.  We can learn better ways to correct those habits.  We all have 24 hours in a day. How we navigate that time is up to us.  Start with your morning routine and find ways to ease into your day that sets you up for success,  

Small Changes Can Make a Difference

     There are ways you can manage your time more effectively that will spill over into other areas of your day.  One example would be to wake up a little earlier and allow yourself some time before heading out the door.  I tend to function better in the morning because it is quieter and I can have my morning cup of coffee, pray and organize my daily activities before everyone is awake and the day takes off.

    Another way you can better manage your time is to prioritize what you are putting on your schedule, is it necessary, can it be put off or delegated to someone else.  The more you look at your schedule you will know where you are spending your time and how you can better serve yourself and your business by adjusting when and how much time should be allotted for what you need to do.

Balance

      I will end by saying that finding a healthy balance between what needs to get done and what can be done is tricky.  If there is no balance you will find that your life is out of control and that leads to stress. Effectively managing “Your” time is a win not only personally but professionally as well.  Until next week my readers continue…..Living your Dreams out Loud

All About Love

Posted on by M Miller
LOVE

     Well my readers, It is that time of year …..It is all about love.  The week ahead is set aside to celebrate and honor love and those we are connected to that we love.  

     The word love is used in so many ways to describe things and people we equate with love.  We sometimes overuse the word. 

Love Defined

     While there are many definitions of love. They all tend to be quite narrow or pull from one particular origin.  The best definition of love I have ever heard is from the bible.  It is quoted in many places and portions of it are used in many dictionaries.  The definition that I am referencing can be found in 1 Corinthians 13, it reads, “ Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.  It is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.”

     This definition seems to sum up what love is and what love isn’t.  It serves as a reference check for ways to keep ourselves from offending and taking for granted those we love.  In many ways this can be how relationships start but when the offenses start happening love can fade or become non-existent.

Ways to Rekindle Love

     There are ways that you can rekindle the love in your relationship.  First try to be mindful of the other person’s feelings.  Try putting yourself in their place and try to imagine how you would feel. Then try and remember some of the things that were special in the early days of coming together and try to duplicate some of those things.  Remember you can never go back but you can go forward creating new and special memories.

Loving Yourself

     In all this talk about love, we sometimes neglect the first person that we should love and that is ourselves.  We need to focus on always trying to be the best version of ourselves in good times and in bad.  You may say that is not easy, you don’t know what I have been through in the name of love and yes you are right I don’t,   but I can tell you we all have a story some that are worse than others.  

Challenge

     I want to challenge you this Valentine’s Day to love yourself a little more.  If you are in a relationship make sure you show some extra love don;t take for granted that person.  If you are single, show yourself that extra love. Reaffirm that you are happy with who you are until that special person comes into your life.  Buy yourself something special  candy, roses and even take yourself to dinner.  This may sound strange but if you are not comfortable with your own company, how can you expect someone else to be,

 Love Memories

     I would also like to say that there are many of us, myself included, that have lost family members and loved ones and are not able to spend time with them.  If you have photos or special items take them out, laugh at the memories and may that bring you joy.

Love is Action

     Love is a noun, it is an action word.  Live each and every day full of Love and it will pour out wherever you go.  If you meet people who are negative and mean spirited, that energy pours out as well and it can leave you feeling drained and negative. It is important to walk in love.  Live a life that brings you joy and keeps you happy, when you do this you are truly,  Living your Dreams Out Loud…….Until next week my readers may you have a very special Valentine’s Day

Why the Need to Celebrate Black History Month

Posted on by M Miller

We Celebrate Because

     So the month of February is designated in the U. S. as Black History Month. It is a time to focus on the history, accomplishments and contributions of African Americans.  There are events that are planned out to facilitate the celebration for all ages.  Schools have set aside curriculum specific to this topic during this time and even stores have started marketing more in this area to attract specific traffic for certain items during this month.

     I am an African American woman and so personally I find this a uniquely special month because there is so much attention given to the rich and diverse group of people known as African Americans. 

Lack of Information 

     At one time there was very little taught on African American history.  We learned mostly about Harriet Tubman, Muhammad Ali and Martin Luther King Jr. As time went on I learned that there was so much more to our history .  Sadly I learned that as I got older and educated myself more.

How did this Celebration Begin

     This brings me to my next point, which is why the need for black history month.  An African American Historian and Journalist by the name of Carter G. Woodson, along with the support of others, decided that there was so much that was not being taught about the history of African Americans specific to their contributions in America that there had to be a way to address this.

     This celebration was begun by Carter G. Woodson as a weekly celebration.  He did these celebrations in the month of February because it was around the birthdays of Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Douglas.  These celebrations eventually expanded to where it is now the whole month of February

Why is History Important

     Our history is important because it gives us purpose.  It gives us a sense of identity and it also can give us pride. I will use the study of genetics as an example to further illustrate this.  When  women are pregnant they sometimes give us a test . They ask us many questions.  The questions are about the mom (you) and the dad’s family history.  If there are any known issues, abnormalities etc.

They ask these questions because based on family history they are able to determine many things.  The less you know about your family or the dad’s family (of the baby) the less accurate the results can be.  This is what our lack of history can do to us as a people. It can affect/effect the outcome of our lives.

     There may be many great gifts that have been passed down to you but you will never know.  Every now and then you begin to wonder where did I get this specfic talent from. Mom and Dad didn’t have it but maybe if you knew that your great great great grandfather was ______.  That would provide the explanation.

My Personal Reflections

     In my opinion. I believe that knowing more about your history, good and bad, allows you to be more aware.  It allows you to better understand and gauge your strengths and weaknesses and places you in a position to be more successful.  You are not haunted by what ifs. You are better equipped, knowing that you have come from some very strong and resourceful people.

     I am very proud to be an African American woman that comes from a not perfect people but had the privilege to grow up with parents who did their best with what they were given by working hard and instilling the value of education.  They also taught me to be proud of who I am and grateful for what I have. 

I  enjoy celebrating all occasions but Black History Month gives me an opportunity to celebrate myself, my community and all that comes with the black experience just a little bit more and so my readers each and every one of you, I invite you to celebrate with us this Black History Month and continue………..Living your Dreams Out Loud

Keeping the End in Mind

Posted on by M Miller

     Hopefully, you have enjoyed the month of January blog posts.  They have been designed to provide you with information and steps to assist in positioning you and your business for success as we begin this new year.

Revisit and Reestablish Goals

     In my opinion, the need to revisit and reestablish personal and business goals is important to having a successful year.When used correctly it serves as the navigation system for your life and business.  Use everything we have worked on for the past few weeks and tie them neatly together.

     If you need to refer to any of the steps please refer to my recent (January) blog posts.  During the course of the year we will revisit goals and determine next steps but for now get ready for the harvest!!

     You might say that was all great but now what.  Now the real work begins. 

The work of putting your plans (goals) into action. How do I do that, you may ask. You do that by organizing yourself daily and weekly.  If you need a daily to do list or set calendar reminders, please do so.  Try and use whatever methods that work best for you to keep you and your business on track.

     The benefit of setting goals is that you are in control.  The drawback is that you are in control. Which means that your dedication to achieving great results are largely based on your actions or inactions.  

     So that is why this blog is titled, Begin with the End in Mind.  It is that focus of seeing the end that will keep you going when you don’t see results.  When things don’t seem to be turning around as quickly as you like.  Keeping the end in mind provides the needed motivation to keep you anchored to your goals and determined to push through to try your best to meet them.  

Be Realistic

     Does that mean that you are guaranteed to succeed because you have set very clear personal and business goals. Absolutely not, there are always roadblocks you will encounter.  People and things will let you down.  Heck you will let yourself down but be encouraged that you have set a firm foundation for yourself and your business that you believe is in your best interest to personally and professionally lead you in the direction that you wish to go.  

     Also remember that nothing is a hard fast rule.  You set the pace and the tone.  If the goals you have set for yourself and your business seems to not be working after you have given it some time, know that you can adjust them.  Change is a necessary part of life.  So adjust when necessary. Celebrate the small victories along the way and remember to not compare your progress or journey to anyone else.  I can not over emphasize this final point. We seem to live in a time where everyone is competing with each other in an unhealthy way.  Cheer yourself on along the way and seek assistance when needed. Try and avoid the naysayers and the negativity and check in periodically on your progress.  

     It has been my great pleasure to share this information at the start of the new year with my readers and may your personal and professional goal setting journey lead you and your business to your most successful year ever.  

     Until next week my readers……Continue

Living Your Dreams out Loud

How to Set Personal Goals

Posted on by M Miller

     In my last blog post, we outlined steps that are needed to be able to set personal goals. We did this through brainstorming and organizing our thoughts.  Traditional goals involve making a list of things that seem more like just a wish list.  We will not do that, instead we will focus on what is manageable and attainable. We want to keep it realistic. We all know people who kick off the New Year with these crazy goals that they already know are just too much and then set themselves up for failure. That is not what we are doing. 

Organizing Your List

     While we are organizing our list, it can include something from last year that you have yet to complete.  Simply carry it over as a new year personal goal.  Try to keep this list short and realistic.  This week we are only focusing on personal goals because if you are not your best, anything you have set up outside of personal goals will simply not be successful. We are starting with the most important thing “You”.

     If you are having a hard time with coming up with some personal goals. Try thinking about some things that are directly tied to (you) as a person. A few good examples are having more quality personal time and taking better care of yourself.  These examples are simple.  They are realistic and they are attainable. 

Keeping it Short and Sweet

     If you keep your personal goals list short and sweet, you will be happier with the results. If we use the example that was just given, take better care of yourself. You can map out a plan to do just that by increasing or adding exercise to your weekly routine, healthier meal planning and drinking more water.  These steps are all something you have control over, and it doesn’t add a lot of pressure to you. It can be managed and adjusted to suit your personal lifestyle, 

     Hopefully, you are now getting the idea that successfully and carefully choosing your personal goals will lead to better success and that is what the intended outcome should be.

     Next week the focus will be on setting Business and Career goals.  For this week just work on completing your personal goals which should also include ways/steps that you can take in order to achieve those goals.   Again, I would recommend keeping your personal goals list as short as possible.

Two to three goals in my opinion are perfect for a great start to the New Year. You will see that you can add to the list, if need be, as the year progresses and adjust as you see fit but for the benefit of being successful and having a strong start, I would begin with the most important.

Setting Priorities

     Again, remember to keep your personal goals list short and sweet.  They should be realistic and attainable and if you need to use the examples in this blog feel free to add this to your personal list. Remember your personal goals are about you and there is no better time than a New Year to refocus and make yourself a priority.  It sets the tone for the year ahead and your ability to drive the focus of the New Year towards meeting those personal goals.

     This is a side note but one worth adding as we are entering a new year and setting our personal goals.  This week a well known athlete Damar Hamlin, Buffalo Bills Safety suffered a heart attack on the field.  It was an accident. We were all devastated when we heard and saw what happened but through much prayer and an excellent team of medical staff on and off the field, we all witnessed a miracle!  This is what hope looks like and it makes you know that anything is possible!!!    

     So as you plan your personal goals know that anything is possible ….. until next week my readers 

….Continue to live your dreams out loud

Repositioning Yourself for a Great Year

Posted on by M Miller

     Welcome to 2023,  We are here and so grateful to be here!  We have arrived and hopefully you are ready to look forward to what this New Year holds for you. We have said so long to the past year and yes to the New Year.  

     There is no better time than the New Year to set the tone for the year ahead. I have a close friend who had some major career challenges during the year and was fortunate to be able to get a new job and will be starting today. I was so happy for her because if there was ever a time to start anything new, the New Year in my opinion is the best time for transition. Secretly, we were believing that the change would take place in the New Year, but it worked out that it happened just as the year was closing out and the next one began. Hooray……

A Fresh Page

     I tend to look at the New Year as a clean sheet of paper. You get to write and plan for the year ahead. Over the next few weeks I will  focus on just that. So take the time to get that clean sheet of paper and a pen and begin to gather your thoughts.

Planning

     As you plan out your year, begin to envision the type of year that you would like to have. Try and be as specific as you can.   Write down steps that you may have to take to achieve those goals. Then begin to outline what steps you may need to take to achieve this. I will use the example of my friend and her job to further illustrate this.  Sometimes you need to remain in a position to be able to continue to pay the bills but that should not limit your options. Begin to post internally within the company if you are able to do so or look outside of the company for other opportunities. While you are doing this, seek to redefine what type of position you are interested in. It may be the case that you need a career change entirely.  

Goal Setting Example

     This is just one example of how to go about goal setting for the beginning of the New Year.  Remember this is not something that is meant to stress you out.  It does not have to be as extreme as changing jobs or career or even moving to another location but if need be add that to your goals. For some it can be as simple as drinking more water or  cooking more at home and scaling back on take out food.  

     While I have brought up scaling back in spending on eating out it may help to reel it in a little if your goal this year includes ways to save money  or save in one area in order to have enough to  spend in another, such as hiring someone to come and clean your home once or twice a month. This small step would leave you with some extra time and energy to invest in other areas of your life.

  Brainstorming

  I have put together some ideas to  help you as you begin to plan your goals for the New Year.  I would recommend that your goals include both personal and professional goals.  Next week’s blog will cover more information on setting goals, so if you are struggling in this beginning process of just brainstorming do not lose heart.

     As you begin the process of brainstorming to organize your goals, journaling is a wonderful way of putting your thoughts down on paper.  It is a great way of capturing your thoughts, working through things and expressing yourself in a nonjudgmental way.  So, begin the process of goal setting and for the month of January we will focus on how to set ourselves up for a great year. Until next week my readers…. Continue to ……..

Live Your Dreams Out Loud  

How Will You Celebrate the Last Week of 2022

Posted on by M Miller

     This week begins the last week of 2022 and if you are anything like me you are exhausted.  The last quarter of the year flew by.  The new school year flew by (for those that have children or are in education) and then Thanksgiving and the mad dash to get ready for Christmas.  (whew that’s a lot)  but we can now check that off our to do list and move along. Some years tend to go by faster than others. This one seemed to travel at a rapid speed (lol).

     For a lot of people this week marks a week that they have set aside for vacation. The kids are home on break and it is simply a woosah moment (lol). If you are not a part of that group don’t worry you can still pace yourself and get through the week. You may even benefit from the traffic being lighter and the crowds a little less.  So turn on your favorite music or podcast in the car and enjoy the ride to work without the bumper to bumper traffic. There is always a brighter side to something if you take the time to look for it.

How will you celebrate

     During this last week, please don’t feel like you need to be out and about.  I have had some of the best parties ever at home(lol). You don’t have to spend much and you get to choose what you want to do. It can be as simple and as  fun as binging on Netflix while eating your favorite snacks. You can also treat yourself to an at home spa day which includes a facial, mani-pedi and a glass of “vino”.

     If you are of the Christian faith, for most New Year’s Eve is a time to go to church and give thanks for the old year and welcome in the New Year. Whatever your choice is, be safe and enjoy the last week of the year in your own special way.

Setting Priorities

  • Begin to reimagine certain things in your life.  
  • Prioritize self care
  • Education and career
  • Healthy eating habits exercise
  • Socializing more
  • Socializing less
  • Revist hobbies things that you liked but have not made time to do 

Level Up Your Expectations

     Now is the perfect time to level up your expectations. Don’t settle for what is and what was chosen. You can choose to  redirect or simply add to your expectations not just for yourself but for those around you.  If you are good with everything around you, then you can continue on this path. If you are not good with how things are going this is the perfect time to plan. 

There is no right or wrong way. This is a personal task. Try not to use this as a comparison. It is about your expectations for yourself and what you choose to do or not do to create an even better path for yourself.

      Make it as creative and fun as you can but keep it realistic. Leveling up your expectations can be a challenge but it is also a great way to measure how your year went and what you can improve upon going forward in the journey. We will revisit this topic in January and stretch it out a bit to cover certain areas. So look for more details in my January 2023 blog posts. 

     Whatever you choose to do this week. Simply relish the fact that you have gone through another year, learned so much and hopefully grew as a person. My hope is that you take those lessons and memories into the New Year and anticipate an even better year for yourself and your loved ones. Until next time my readers May you continue to… 

Live your Dreams Out Loud 

We will talk again in the New Year ……

  

        

Christmas is Right Around the Corner

Posted on by M Miller

     Well, we made it through Thanksgiving, and we are just a few short weeks away from Christmas. There seems to be so much to do and so little time to get it all done! So, as you begin to think about the many things you have left to do. Remember to keep your holiday expectations realistic. If it is not realistic you can and will place unreal expectations on yourself.

      An example of this is knowing that your budget this year is not big, but you then charge up a storm. Then next month, you get the credit card bill, and the shock begins. You are not stuck with an unnecessary bill for the new year for items that you should not have brought in the old year.  Thus, starting your new year off with unnecessary debt.  Not good – Another example is that you went all out for Thanksgiving, and you are tired, but you overcommit to Christmas festivities. Remember that “NO” can be a good word when you are trying to stay True to the real reason for the season and not all the extra frills that are added along the way.

    Having said all of that, it is time to organize yourself. The way that I tend to organize myself is by having a to do list. It is a wonderful way to navigate your many tasks. This list can be broken down by the different tasks that you have to accomplish. Remember to check off tasks once they are accomplished.  

Sample Simple Holiday Checklist

  • Complete your outdoor decorations
  • Complete your indoor decorations
  • Make a list of people that you need to purchase gifts for
  • Shop for those people on your list for gifts
  • Purchase just in case gifts (those are the gifts that you have for the unexpected gift exchanges)
  • Make a Christmas menu
  • Shop for items on your menu that you can store ahead of time
  • Clean and prepare your home or apartment for guests

Note– The above simple Holiday Checklist is just a sample, you can add or remove what does not apply to you on the list. Remember the goal of a simple list is just that, to keep everything as simple as possible.

The Feeling of Accomplishment

Once you have completed your list, you are now able to go about completing each task on the list. Once you are done you should feel a sense of accomplishment. If you are not done on time at least you tried (smile). 

Wrap Up

     Setting realistic expectations based on budget, time and your ability to fit everything into the allotted time that is left.

     Finally, the last few weeks in December always go by quickly and somehow it all seems to get done.  So, try not to panic.  Remember to enjoy the journey and the experience of another Christmas and the beauty of why we celebrate this awesome Holiday.     

      Until next week my readers. May you know and experience the true reason for the season and the gift of Christmas. 

And Continue ………Living Your Dreams Out Loud 

Finishing 2022 Strong Pause-Reset-Move

Posted on by M Miller

Pause

You have navigated your way through the Thanksgiving holiday. whether you celebrated or not, we are all caught up in the pace. There are deadlines at work, school activities and if you work in retail the rush to keep the shelves stocked. If you are not careful you can run the clock only to realize that you are in the last quarter of 2022. So this is the perfect time to set a pause button on the many things that need to get done. Catch your breath and indulge is some well-deserved self-care.

Do something fun with friends and family or just do you! There is so much going on that you can enjoy at this time of year. The possibilities are endless. You can take in a Broadway show, go see the tree or just simply hang out and laugh with others. It can be as simple and as fun as you like. Even a nice walk can be a great way to recharge or curl up with a good book. It is about “You” at this moment and making the most of your well-deserved pause. It can be for a few hours, a day or even a weekend. It is whatever you need to bounce back ready to continue.

Reset

Your appointed pause is over (smile), hopefully, you are now able to get back on track. It is important that you reset to a pace that is more realistic and manageable. The pace should be adjusted to you and not your environment. The pause should have allowed you to catch your breath and prioritize what is important and what is not. The months ahead (Nov/Dec) are filled with so many things that need our attention that our pace seems to be totally driven by external sources. Know your pace and know when you are moving beyond that.

Reset Reminders- (Just in case you forget)

  • Every invite does not have to be a yes
  • Everyone is not entitled to a gift (coworkers, teachers, etc.) choose wisely it can become costly
  • You don’t have to be the designated have it at your home person this year
  • Simply just stop by and show your face at after work social gatherings and it is okay to not stay long
  • Control your time and money by setting the rules in advance

Move

After you have taken that well needed Pause and Reset. You have recharged and set your priorities. The next thing is to just simply move. This time you will have adjusted your pace to determine your moves. The months of November and December always seem to go by quickly. Before you know it we are crossing over into another year. May this pause, reset and move help to navigate you through the next few weeks so that you will not only finish the year strong but step into the next year ready to see what lies ahead! Until next time readers, don’t forget to pause, reset and move your way through the busyness of the season, remembering that you set the pace.